It is one thing to know your personal talent on paper … but another, quite different, thing to know who you are within. The line between what is in your ‘Front Office’ (your qualifications and skill sets) and what is in your ‘Back Office’ (the deeper mind) can be paper thin. ‘Mental asset management’ is about gaining visibility of the emotional intelligence resources that you have built up in the Back Office of your brain, it is about leveraging your interior drives and resilience so that you can excel as a fully integrated player.
It is perfectly possible to keep your curriculum vitae up-to-date whilst at the same time failing to update and upgrade your emotional track-record. Consider this disparity in the case of an Executive manager who bangs his or her fists on the boardroom table when s/he wants something done―like a four year old screaming “I want it now’’. What is that all about? At first, it might seem surprising that the executive big-shot is running infant experiential mindware in his/her head, but … isn’t executive truth sometimes stranger than fiction? Perhaps a boardroom colleague blushes when relaying the weekly briefing, or stutters, or panics, suffering anxiety inwardly when under scrutiny. What is that all about really? Imagine the relief this individual experiences when at last they can pass the verbal bat to the next player on the team? Another senior manager may curiously be regularly and reliably unavailable to attend presentations and key meetings, and perhaps due to his level of seniority only a few get to wonder why? Professionally he may be sick in the stomach at the thought of public speaking―a plausible truth for one terrified of being found out. What I have found from the business clients attending my hypnotherapy clinic is that many successful people are chronically afraid of not being good enough; not worthy enough; not deserving enough; not bright enough; ― terrified of being discovered to be a fake. And yet, you would never believe it, as this member of the talent team hides these personal realities very well. You would never believe that the over-achiever at the Boardroom table experiences a sense of fear of being found to be inadequate. The outer CV may be impressively solid, while the interior self-assessment might be crumbling.
Emotional instability does have a major impact upon absenteeism and performance. Contrast this with talented workers who believe in themselves fully, and are not driven by a rear-view mirror of past failures and personal slights. When you have balance as opposed to bravado as your prime emotional directive, you are more likely to know where you stand with yourself and with your colleagues and where they and you are going together in terms of your company’s success. When your staff like themselves more, and feel more authentic within themselves―acting and speaking with integrity and authenticity―free of anxiety and panic, other finer ingredients that make up their talent can more readily come through and shine in a passionate way.
Twenty-one months before my client David contacted me, he had applied for Partnership at a major accounting house. The ‘interview process’ involved the hiring of actors and actresses to assume roles as players in a management scenario. Each had well-rehearsed lines and David was to arrive into the throng and perform as a ‘fire-fighting’ problem-solver with no prior knowledge as to the theme of the meeting, other than that it would fall within his area of expertise.
The ‘audience’ were his contemporaries, some of whom had already ‘won’ partnerships, and who, like my client had been with the company for fifteen years or more. Conjure up in your mind’s eye, if you will, a modern-day gladiatorial arena. It did not go well. David had, in his own words, ‘buckled under the scrutiny’ and underperformed rather drastically. He had nursed a sense of defeat, coupled with a sense of ignominy and humiliation, with the certainty that he would wait a further two years before he could apply again should he feel he could ever face the situation again.
But … the potential financial prize for him was huge and drove him to go back in to the fray. This time, however, David chose a coach who could support him, to lift the bonnet of his inner engine, to tune it to optimum performance and pump in some high octane fuel. David chose the fast-track method of mental change: interactive hypnotherapy. This gave him the opportunity to simulate his perform inside his head during deep relaxation. First of all, though, we needed to access the root reason for his fear of performance in front of others, to discover when it had first taken up residence in his inner mind. In deep relaxation, David reported that he recalled his ‘bar mitzvah’. When a boy comes of age at thirteen years he has become a ‘bar mitzvah’ and is recognized by Jewish tradition as having the same rights as a full-grown man.
The term “bar mitzvah” also refers to the religious ceremony that accompanies a boy becoming a Bar Mitzvah. David further reported that he had ‘buckled under the scrutiny’, cowed under the pressure of his parents and the presence of a huge gathering of relatives and family friends. With David’s permission, while in hypnosis, I invited him to imagine his ‘older self’ and a mentor (chosen by David) to support the thirteen-year-old. Together his older self and the mentor prepared him again for the ceremony. David also chose ‘a championing team’ to be a presence in mind, for future back-up and support.
Having practised again, young David was invited to perform the ceremony a second time (in his imagination, during hypnosis), knowing that his older self and his mentor were a power for good by his side. David performed the ceremony again and reported that his parents were glowing with pride and it had gone very well. The older self congratulated him. The mentor congratulated him. Young David was over the moon with his success.
The remarkable truth is that the subconscious cannot tell the difference between performing in hypnosis and performing in reality, hence the positively successful performance was now embedded within David’s inner mind. I brought him back in to the here-and-now and began to rehearse the interview for partnership, this time leveraging his upgraded emotional intelligence. This time round, his mental estate was enhanced with powers of confidence, robustness, and resilience—which he had gained by re-playing and re-imagining his Bar Mitzah under hypnosis. After three sessions of interactive hypnotherapy, David went back into the gladiatorial den of his interview for real … and this time he powered through the enacted scenarios with poise and ease. He secured the Partnership and, with it, the life-enhancing wealth.
When your emotions are, like David’s ― paper thin ― and you are close to, or do experience a breakdown, a meltdown, or a total emotional outage, then choosing inner one-to-one personal coaching can engage you in an investigative conversation that lets you discover the Back Office assets of your own mind, lets you de-fragment the inner space, jettison the obsolete emotional kit, and upgrade and bring to the fore your top assets. Keeping your brain’s ‘Front Office’ skills and CV up-to-the minute is great, but as a true mover and shaker you need to manage your brain’s ‘Back Office’ resources, the emotional estate that underpins your mental performance.
The Author The writer is a hypnotherapist, a trainer, and an author, living and practising in Malta, London, and SE Asia. Contact Deborah Marshall-Warren by email: email@example.com or visit her website: www.marshall-warren.com